At the Bend

Meeting the Challenge of Menopause    5 Tips for Surviving Your Midlife Crisis by Marnie Pehrson     I hit the big 4-0 recently along with many of my friends. Yet midlife didn’t wait to strike at 40. I was suffering the symptoms for several years before. If you’ve been here, you know what it feels like: the restlessness, the desire to be young, to do all the things you did when you were 18. This phase of life leads some to motorcycle riding, others to plastic surgery, some to weight loss and exercise, and still others to leaving their spouses. This is the "grass is greener on the younger side" stage of life. This is when we ask ourselves questions like: "Why can't we all get better looking with age, like Patrick Dempsey or Sandra Bullock? How can I get my 20-year-old body back? I've only got a few good years left, why stick it out in this same old rut?" I've seen people leave perfectly good spouses to set off for greener pastures, only to find those pastures sparser than the ones they left behind. As for myself, I've had the same old thoughts running through my mind, but I decided to vent them in a different direction. After years of writing nonfiction self-help and business books, I branched out into nonfiction – Southern romance specifically. It's been a fun way to explore all those youthful feelings lacking at midlife without throwing away a perfectly good man to do it. Bottom line, midlife is about reclaiming your youth. You don't have to disrupt your world to feel young. Here are five tips for surviving midlife that have worked for me. Watch your thoughts. Stay on the positive side. Count your blessings and look for the good. If you're married, avoid dwelling on your spouse's faults. Look for his/her good qualities instead. Emphasize the good and you'll find more of it.   Take up a youthful hobby. What have you always wanted to do but never got around to trying? For me, it has been writing novels, raising goats, gardening, and making new friends. What's yours? Riding motorcycles? Painting, running a marathon, driving a motorboat?   Take "bliss breaks" two or three times a day. These are small 10-15 minute breaks that add joy to your life. Think of the little things that make you happy – hugging a child, kissing your spouse, calling a friend, working in your garden, going for a walk in the sunshine, watching a sunrise or a sunset. Enjoy the small moments!   Let music spice up your life. Listen to music that makes you dance, sing, laugh and that reminds you that you're alive. Turn up the music as you drive and sing along. When you have the house to yourself, blast the music and dance.   Lighten up. Spend time with people who look at the lighter side of life. Look for opportunities to laugh. It may be something as silly as having your picture made with a mannequin in a department store or calling a friend who lives miles away and watching the highlights of your favorite TV show together. One of my friends says that no matter how old women get, we still have the same basic personality we had when we were 18. I think she's not far off. What are some of the things you did when you were 18 that you enjoyed? Which ones could you do again now? Incorporate a few that allow you to be a responsible adult and still feel young at heart. Remember, you're only as old as your thoughts. About the Author Marnie Pehrson, Ringgold GA USA marnie@pwgroup.com More Details about surviving a midlife crisis here. Marnie L. Pehrson is a wife, mother of 6, author and consultant who helps talented professionals deliver their message to the online world through sites like IdeaMarketers.com, BelieversAtWork.com, 1ChapterFree.com, and more. Visit her projects through http://www.pwgroup.com and read her books at http://www.MarniePehrson.com.