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Dear Readers:

My family has been going through some changes as of late.  Last year, my two boys moved out together and a few months back, my oldest moved back home.  This week, my oldest moved back out and my youngest moved back home.
It seems like a revolving door has been installed in my home!

I have some issues with my baby boy.  He's nineteen, dropped out of college and has seemingly no goals for his life or motivation to do anything.  This frustrates me to no end and I'm not quite sure how to deal with him at this point.

Good thing for me I was sent an advanced reader's copy of Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children by Allison BottkeI've read a good portion of the book already and I'm finding a slew of tips that I am implementing in my relationship with my kids.  They aren't too happy about it, but these changes will help them take on the adult responsibilities that they will face both now and in the coming years.  Make sure you read the review and I highly recommend you get yourself a copy!

If you have any tips on dealing with a young adult child who needs direction in his/her life, send them to me at patti@beyondthebend.com and I will enter you into a contest to win a copy of Bottke's book.

Keep me in your prayers!

Until Next Time,


 Devotional Thought:  Living a Life of Purpose

"For I know the plans I have for you," declares the LORD, "plans to prosper you and not to harm you, plans to give you hope and a future."

                                                      ~Jeremiah 29:11

Today, purpose is a buzzword in Christian circles.  Ever since Rick Warren's Book The Purpose Driven Life was released in 2002, it seems that people everywhere are trying to find purpose and meaning in their lives.

When our kids were young, we didn't have any trouble knowing our purpose.  We were to raise our children to know God and to serve Him.
But as our children grow into teens and then into young adults, we see that we need to begin letting go and letting our children stand on their own two feet.  If our only purpose had been to raise our children, then we, as empty nesters, are left with a big whole in our lives.

Now, I realize that not everyone is in that boat.  Many women, while raising their children, had a clear sense of God's calling on their lives in other areas.  But for those who didn't, there are some great books available that will help you discover God's purpose for this time in your life.
A few are listed below.  Check out the links to learn more about them.

Discovering Your Divine Assignment
Fantastic over 40
Follow Your Heart
When a Woman Discovers Her Dream

God truly does have a purpose for our lives.  As the Jeremiah 29:11 tells us, He knows the plans He has and they are to give us a hope and a future.  Spend time today asking God to reveal His plans to you.


Guest Column by  Catherine Potin
Healthy Diet, Healthy Skin

Do you ever consider that what you are eating may impact your face as much as your hips? Current research is suggesting that for a glowing youthful radiant complexion, a good start is a well balanced diet supported by  good natural facial skin care products.

As we age, our bodies become more and more reliant on the absorption of essential fatty acids, essential minerals and antioxidants.

· Antioxidants fight off the aging effects of free radicals. Free radicals are created as a by-product of consuming toxic products. Accumulation of free radicals results in a process called oxidative stress, which actually speeds up the aging process and injures cells. Antioxidants help to keep the free radicals in check.

· Essential Fatty acids are the good fat we need to keep a healthy body and skin. Especially as we age, our skin get dryer and extra good fats in the diet will help keep the skin supple and soft.

· Essential Minerals like bromaline, sulfates, potassium are natural anti inflammatory and improve cells metabolism. Often overlook, the lack of essential minerals is responsible for arthritis pain, psoriasis, eczema and other skin condition. They keep the skin cells in a neutral environment and restore the natural PH of the skin.

Now, what should you be eating to enjoy these beneficial effects?

Basically, the more colorful the food, the better it is for you, and the more likely it is to contain a high percentage of antioxidants. Great examples are berries, carrots, mangoes, corn, tomatoes, spinach and cherries. Whole grains are also an excellent source of antioxidants. Minerals like selenium, beta-carotene, lycopene, and the vitamins A, C, and E are all ingredients high in antioxidant abilities. Fish, nuts, seafood, cold pressed olive oil, avocado are all rich in Essential fatty acids.
You will find that a balance diet good for the heart will benefit your skin as well.

About Facial Care Products
For healthy skin, choose your skin care products as carefully and follow the same criteria as you choose your food for a healthy body. The two are connected.

A good face cleanser contains no alcohol. Choose according to your skin type.  A cleanser job is to remove the dirt bee between the cells. It should be gentle yet efficient.

Facial cream, anti wrinkle creams are foods for your skin. They have to be rich in antioxidant, essential minerals and essential fatty acids. Look for natural or organic moisturizers herbal based or ocean based.

Your overall health will improve dramatically and your skin will benefit from a healthy diet.

For great result, nourish your skin from the inside out and outside in. Improve your diet and choose skin care for your face rich in nutrients not man made ingredients and chemical.

"Beauty is eternity gazing at itself in a mirror." Kahlil Gibran.

Catherine Potin is a successful entrepreneur and  publisher of Healthy Facial Care. Her drive is to create a multi facet program to healthy skin from the inside out. This concept brings together the interlink of healthy eating, cooking and natural facial care. and time out in your home spa. Each step is unique and with that makes it easy to choose the appropriate regimen for your skin and well being.


  Reader's Write:  Planning and Making Goals

Last month I asked readers to share their ideas on planning and making goals.  Below are some of the responses:

My new year goals change as the days progress!  Not because I fail but because I just "reassess". 

In November my exercise routine became less consistent because of the hectic holiday routine taking hold.  I started to beat myself up about it and then just said to myself, "Kelly, you do this every year.  Why beat yourself up about it?  Just give yourself a break."  Because I knew I'd get back into the routine in January, I relaxed and just let myself off the hook.  As predicted, by now I am so sick of myself I can't help but start exercising again!  So that goal sort of takes care of itself!

My biggest struggle is with time management and prioritizing my duties.  So!  With that said, my goals are to assess my stuff each evening and make a plan for the following day.  I covet your prayers!! 

                                                                         ~ Kelly


This year I decided I was tired of all the usual New Year's goals - lose weight, eat healthier, exercise more, get organized - though I hope to still do all of those things.  I have decided to make some New Year's resolutions that will make me happier and just might be easier and more fun to achieve. I guess my theme for 2008 is to focus on the positive and to let go of all those negative thoughts that so often invade my head. This year I have decided to pack away the guilt and  do some things for me.  I am going to set aside a little time each and every day to read.  I will not read while feeling guilty that I should be doing "other things" but will enjoy my 15 minutes or half an hour of just reading a book I love.  I am going to make sure I have time to write in my journal.  Too often weeks and sometimes months go by where I have not had time to touch it and I truly miss writing.  I am going to eat dessert.  As much as I want to eat healthier and lose weight, an occasional dessert is not going to hurt me and I will make sure to enjoy every bite.  I am going to stop worrying about everything that I haven't gotten done in a single day and be happy about the things I did accomplish.  My house may never be immaculate, my chore list never completed, and I may never be as organized as I would like but I need to let go and be ok with that.  This year I am just seeking contentment with what is and will not worry about what could or should be.

I have never really been good at setting goals in my life.  However, the more you age, the more you see the need to make lists for yourself so you remember that you need to do!
This year, I made two New Year's Resolutions:
1) To be on time for work every morning, which I was getting lax in recently and
2) To stop scraping my plate when I am eating - enough is enough and the food is gone!
I hope I can stick to these two ideas and make them a habit this year...
Often I sit down at my calendar at home just to organize myself and put down different things to do on certain days, so I won't come up short forgetting an errand or something important.  It kind of helps me to keep on track personally.


Congratulations to Kelly Stigliano who won a free copy of Energy Zappers by Shaun Blakeney and Wallace Henley.  If you would like to enter this month's giveaway of a copy of Allison Bottke's book Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children, send any tips on dealing with a young adult child who needs direction in his/her life, send them to me at patti@beyondthebend.com


 Keri Wyatt Kent is wonderful writer who has a deep sense of justice and writes on many social issues.  Check out her monthly eNews and her weekly blog.


Setting Boundaries with Your Adult ChildrenSetting Boundaries with Your Adult Children: Six Steps to Hope and Healing for Struggling Parents
Allison Bottke
Harvest House Publishers - Release Date Feb.1
Retail Price: $11.99
Our Price:  $9.59

This important and compassionate new book from the creator of the successful God Allows U-Turns series will help parents and grandparents of the many adult children who continue to make life painful for their loved ones.

Writing from firsthand experience, Allison identifies the lies that kept her, and ultimately her son in bondage—and how she overcame them. Additional real life stories from other parents are woven through the text.

A tough–love book to help readers cope with dysfunctional adult children, Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children will empower families by offering hope and healing through S.A.N.I.T.Y.—a six–step program to help parents regain control in their homes and in their lives.

  • S = STOP Enabling, STOP Blaming Yourself, and STOP the Flow of Money
  • A = Assemble a Support Group
  • N = Nip Excuses in the Bud
  • I = Implement Rules/Boundaries
  • T = Trust Your Instincts
  • Y = Yield Everything to God


Beyond the Bend Review


I was given an advanced reader's copy of this book by Harvest House and asked to give my opinion on it before it came out.  I've been pretty big on self-help books for most of my adult life as I've had my share of dysfunctional relationships, so I have a pretty good grasp on self-help principles that work and those that don't.  My gut feeling on Setting Boundaries with Your Adult Children is that this book is a winner. 

Allison Bottke speaks from her heart and her own experience with enabling her adult son to stay in a destructive pattern of living and she gives excellent tips and tools for parents to stop the insanity of living a dysfunctional life.  I like the fact that she doesn't blame the parent for the adult child's behavior and she gives advice on how the parent can change....not on how to change the adult child.  This book is about putting responsibility for destructive behavior where it belongs and coming to the realization that if "nothing changes, nothing changes."

Another key element that this book has that many self-help books don't is that Bottke puts God right in the midst of our struggles and suggests that we yield to Him in everything.  While most self-help book allude to a "higher power", this book comes straight out and tells the reader the truth:  you can't make these changes without the help of the God of the Bible.

I highly recommend this book.  It will change your life.

Book Bargains Rating:

Order This Book!

You can order this book for $9.59 at our bookstore.



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